The familiarity of this place puts me at ease & brings me comfort, but at the same time it suffocates me.
I have become so comfortable in my skin, that no one can tell me anything about me that can hurt me, or tarnish who I am. I have always had confidence behind my words, but with age and lessons came more strength. Over time, I learned that no one can use anything against you, if your truth is already spoken, and your demons have been acknowledged. So let that sink in. The things that often hurt us, or sit on our minds are the things that we haven't come to terms with. Facing our own demons takes a lot of strength and the dismissal of pride. When I look back on the way I was raised, I am grateful. I am grateful because it allowed me to be able to accept my wrongdoings. My parents always told me " When you're wrong, you're wrong and that's it". This is true because there is nothing you can do, but accept it and learn from it. Holding myself accountable has just been another step in me becoming more vulnerable. I'll be the first to tell someone I'm not perfect. I've never been the type of person to act all highly like I'm this and that because at the end of the day we're all human. Therefore, no matter what somebody has to say about me doesn't matter, because what's there left to say when I said everything there is to???
As people, I think it's easy to forget that none of us are perfect, and so we dog on ourselves and we dog on each other. As someone that has judged people before negatively, that was me being ignorant. The older you get the more you learn to never knock someone for doing something, because you could easily be put in the same position. After cultivating my thoughts within this post, I decided to make a list of things I need to work on.
1. I gossip. I don't consider myself an avid gossiper, but there are times where I fall short. I like to add my two cents into people's business, but in reality "nobody asked you to keep your mouth shut" lol.
2. I lack patience when it comes to working with other people. I like to be in control, and when I feel like someone is not putting enough effort or being crazy like me, It bothers me. However, I need to realize that not everyone is going to be like me and apply that understanding to future situations.
3. When I'm stressed I take it out on others. That anger should not be released onto someone else. Instead, the source of it should be confronted by me, and handled by me.
4. I get defensive, but only when it's someone that holds value in my life, and I know they are probably right. You don't ever want anyone telling YOU about YOU, because it can be uncomfortable.
5. I am a very passionate person, and sometimes I let emotion drive my actions. I have always struggled with this, but have improved throughout the years.